Why we avoid laser beams of doom
by Scarlet Hondae
Summary: In which someone is turned into something cute, harmless, and fluffy... because god know, we can't get enough of that . Rated for language.


Used to be, I was ashamed of myself for writing Power Rangers, which was weird, because I never judged _other _people for writing it. It's kinda like crying - you think less of yourself for doing it, but when someone nearby bursts into tears, you give them a hug, tell them everything is gonna be okay and not judge 'em.

How it began? I finally Googled Cute Overload.

Summary: In which - he was _goddamn fluffy._

Warnings? Mentions of sex and some really, really bad words. Talk of boobs and taking advantage of the situation. Written horribly and on a whim. Remember – this is the NO JUDGEMENT ZONE. 

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START!

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"He's so _cute_," Kim cooed (he knew it was his girlfriend because of her voice; all he _saw _was blackness). Then fingers tickled under his chin and _damn_, that felt good...which wasn't normal. Several places felt good when it came to Kim, but under his chin and behind his ears (_yes, there there there, god, that felt almost as good as sex) _were not such places.

"Uh..." Rocky. Of course it would be Rocky, voice holding laughter, "I thought our esteemed leader was a _falcon _at heart, not a fluffy...thing. What is he, anyway? Kinda looks like a deformed mouse...with even bigger ears and, good god, that is some soft fur. If we could make coats out of this..."

"He's been turned into a _Chinchilla lanigera, _commonly known as a Chinchilla. They can be found both in the wild and in domestic environments. In the wild, they usually burrow into the ground or rocks, living in groups called herds. Normally, they are born with dark coats, though Tommy seems to have obtained a white one through the transformation, signifying that he is, perhaps, taking on the form of a domestic breed." And cue Billy, with his weird brain full of facts and knowledge.

Except...wait. Had the blue ranger just stated that _Tommy was a domestic, glorified rat? _

Not that chinchillas weren't cute; they were. One of his former foster parents had a pet chinchilla, one who Tommy had been responsible for. The damn thing had been albino, gotten sick and died and Tommy had been 'removed from the housing solution' over it. Damn pet-lovers - and it hadn't even been his fault! Not that he'd grieved; Angel, the demonic rat-thing, had bitten, scratched, pooped and generally was unpleasant to anyone but the nasty woman who owned him.

And now _he _was a freaking _chinchilla_. What the fuck was up with _that_?

"Why a chincilla, though? Wouldn't a falcon be more...I don't know, probable? After all, the falcon is his spirit animal." Aisha spoke up, and Tommy finally pried his eyes open (man, his little body was tired) to stare up at the five semi-concerned, semi-omg, it's so cute, faces of his teammates. They were armored, except their helmets, which cause the leader part of his brain to panic, just a bit.

Billy seemed to shrug, causing Tommy to squeak (how unmanly, but Billy just seemed so _big)_ and huddle back into someone's hand. The hand wasn't small, so it wasn't Kim or Aisha...looking back, Tommy recognized Adam, who had the Blank Face (the black ranger killed at poker) on. However, the leader of the team swore he caught a glitter in Adam's eyes before he turned around to chatter cuss words at the rest of his laughing team.

"Well, I have no knwoledge of the laser or the intended action of the beam. I assume, if our enemies created it, and based off former experiences, that it was designed to turn the Power Rangers into harmless, fluffy creatures." Billy suggested, pushing his glasses back up.

"Yeah, but a chinchilla? That's pretty..." Aisha made a move, one that Tommy didn't react so girlishly to this time.

"Why don't we continue this somewhere where the public won't catch a glance?" Adam commented, his voice vibrating down to Tommy's tiny body. Tommy, annoyed and irritated by becoming a _fluffy, harmless creature_, turned around and bared his teeth at the black ranger.

Smaller hands scopped his up, and pink entered his vision as Kimberly listed him to rest against her chest plate. "How's about I hold him? I don't think he'll try and bite me." Leaning her head down, almost touching him (and causing his heart to about burst), she whispered, "If you do, I'll return the favor...on sensitive parts of your anatomy."

He blinked large, wide eyes at her, trying to get the bonus of cuteness. He was, after all, cute as all hell; he couldn't do much fighting, but he could sure as shit get the advantage.

"Aw, look, he's still making eyes at Kim, even as a rodent. How _cute_!" Aisha squealed, clapping gloved hands.

Rocky snorted, his helmet making a hissing sounds as he lowered it back over his head. "Man, I'm seriously gonna need pictures of this. Maybe a video?"

Tommy turned to snap his tiny little buck teeth at his red rangers (he knew from experience how much those hurt), but the world spun away in pink light. Then black, as his little fluffy body wasn't able to handle the stress of transportation.

-

"Hey, man, you awake?" Adam asked, voice soft and steady as always (if Kim wasn't his SiC, then Adam surely would be). Two very non-gloved fingers snapped in front of his face.

Thankfully, the hand that snatched Adam's wrist and the teeth that were bared at him in a smile were very, very human. "Oh, thank _God _and Jesus and _Playboy! _I'm back!"

"Yep." Kim snapped her gum by his other side, then leaned an arm against the wall behind the medbay bed and dropped a light kiss on his lips (which, thankfully, put her very nice body into full, pressing contact with his). "Zordon suggested we defeat Fluffy Animal Monster and maybe the laser would lose it's effects."

Fluffy Animal Monster? Jeez, no wonder Jason had told him that it was part of the leader's duty to name and chronicle the villains, if Fluffy Animal Monster was the best they could do. "I'm gonna say thanks for that. A lot of thanks."

Kim shrugged, smiling in that mysterious way of hers. "Oh, don't thank me just yet, handsome." Then she stood, stepping away from him and stretching, baring her toned stomach and was that his green shirt, tied below her...chest? "Hey, I gotta be home by supper, but make sure to talk to Rocky before you leave. He has some things for you."

OH. SHIT.

Adam, recognizing the look on his leader's face, snickered and bolted when Tommy tried to grab him. "Look, there wasn't anything I could do. Even I can't control Rocky all the time."

Which was complete bullshit. Adam and Rocky? Yeah, they made Jason and the white ranger look like complete strangers to each other. Meant anything Rocky did, Adam knew about. Aisha, too, maybe, but Tommy didn't even _try _to pay attention there; he didn't _want _to know, sometimes.

"ROCKY!"

-

Sure enough, three weeks later, after the incident had been all but forgotten, pictures of a white chinchilla in various poses started showing up around the Command Center.

Rocky learned Tommy's schedule _very _well, mostly in an effort to avoid the man.


End file.
